Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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