who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
