U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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