So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
