I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
