i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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