Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She needs sedatives and a leash
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
