Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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