whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
