We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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