She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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