You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
