No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
