i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
