never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
