He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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