dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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