Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
