theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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