She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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