from now on my penis is your penis
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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