I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
