I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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