i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
