I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
