thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
