My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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