I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
