We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
