Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
