I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
