it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize