im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
