So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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