Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
