are you still at the devil's house?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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