Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
