i was born a porn star she said
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
