Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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