college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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