I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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