Rock
Scissors
Fuck
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
