dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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