I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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