He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
