Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
