loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my being single is dangerous.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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