I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
so much tequila, so little girl.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
