I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
