how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
