This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
