I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
