At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
