White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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