So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
