Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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