It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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