i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
