when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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