can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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