Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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