we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
