Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
