i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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