i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize