I don't think brook has ever known best
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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