I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
