yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize