Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
