Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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