so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just want to make out with him forever
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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