Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she smelled like a LAN party
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
