I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize