Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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