i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
